We had mixed feelings about visiting the Amanzoe resort in Porto Heli, Greece. It looked a little hoity-toity and architecturally a bit vanilla, like a latter day Grecian Hotel Bel Air with fewer A-listers and a quixotic Peloponnese location in Porto Heli making it a challenge to get to unless you really want to cash in your eco-fucks on that signature chopper ride from Athens’ airport to come here, carbon footprint be damned because maybe you own a country or a president or have a bunch of fake Instagram followers.
But y’all kept asking and heck, they were nice enough to offer my driver and me lunch by the beach and that watermelon smoothie was so.darn.good—so here you go, feast on some of these photos and decide for yourself if Amanzoe floats your posh boat. Just remember there’s little in life that’s duller than Dutch royalty (“King” Willem-Alexander of Holland and his life partner Maxima live in the ‘hood, Kranidi), and barring a very large earthquake, Porto Heli will never be the Greek island it secretly wishes it was. Also, we’re suspending any further textual description, in the spirit of the secrecy for which this tony compound is renowned. So sit yourself down and have a look around:
Would you stay at Amanzoe? Let us know!